Let’s talk about babies.
The goods, the toots and the minions
Everyone tells you how incredible moms feel the minute they lay their eyes on their babies, but nobody tells you what happens 10 minutes, a week or 6 months later. In my page, I will tap into mothers’ constant anxieties and fears of uncertainties that come with being a mom as well as some crucial inside truths that a lot of women feel but are reluctant to talk about. Let me have the pleasure of chatting you through it and put it to rest!
Fathers. Dads. Papas.
Being a Kuwaiti mother, no matter how much you try and be there full time for your kids, while also juggling 10 other tasks at hand, you are certain to be accused of not giving your children your full time and attention, by friends, acquaintances and even by fellow mothers.
The minute the nanny steps in and takes your child so you can have an hour or two for your sanity. The outrageous looks and mental judgments start. We’re constantly compared to mothers from around the world. How they go to work 3 months postpartum, breastfeed and do all house chores all the while taking care of their infants and other kids.
Based on my humble observations from around the world: In Switzerland, Fathers wear their babies while they go grocery shopping and jogging with or without mom.
In Austria and Germany, Fathers swim with their babies in spas while mommy relaxes for a full hour massage or some quiet time on the sunbed
In the USA, Mommy nurses, then dad takes the baby to burp and change diaper.
In the UK, You’ll see dad’s cycling with their babies in the back seat. Feed and change their babies with mother not present at all.
Point is, most fathers abroad are more invested in their relationship with their children and more educated on how to handle an infant as opposed to most fathers in Kuwait. Which in turn, makes most moms in Kuwait in desperate need for another set of hands to help, whether nannies or nurses or both.
After all, it takes a village to raise one child.
It is very rare to see dads and their babies alone in Kuwait.
I am not sure of the reason why, it could be a cultural matter that was instilled in us by our parents and grandparents, or it could be the social norm that people are afraid to break.
Times have changed and so should the norms. Women today are just as busy as men are, you will rarely see a stay at home mom whose sole responsibility is to cook and watch the kids. Women today are not only breadwinners they are reaching higher and higher positions as managers, entrepreneurs, doctors, engineers and so on.
It is time we break the pattern and set new ideals. Teach our men infant science and toddler tantrum control and by that I mean change a diaper, bathe and feed a baby and calm down a toddler in distress, even if candy is his only way out.
We can raise happier kids by having their dads more present.
Here are some tips for dads to help bond with your babies:
- – Calm Your Crying baby: Even though it may be tempting to hand a crying baby back to Mom, take a try at soothing her tears (unless she’s hungry, of course). Try singing to her, walking her around, gently rocking, or find the closest pacifier for her to suck on. She must learn that Mom isn’t the only one who can give her what she needs.
- – Make Silly Faces: You can definitely be the funny guy. Start by just making silly faces that will make your baby glow with a smile. As your baby gets older try fun games like peekaboo.
- – Take Your Baby for a Walk: Babies love fresh air, so take your little bundle for a stroll around the block. Try using a sling or carrier instead of your stroller. This will keep baby close to you throughout the walk. Just be sure baby is slathered in sunscreen if it’s hot outside and bundled up if it’s a little chilly.
- – Special Play Time: Set aside time every night to play with your little guy. Make it part of his daily routine, so when you come home from work he expects his daddy time.
- – Be Your Child’s Friend: Watch TV and play with your tot often. If he gets goofy, get goofy with him, and invite him to do activities that you enjoy doing.
Attachment parenting and bonding with your children on daily basis is a great way to raise happy independent kids
That being said, We all know youngsters are all different, some babies are cranky 80% of the time and others are a breeze, and if you were lucky to get the latter. Be more understanding of parents who don’t have an easy child and need help around most of the time, having a nanny or not does not entitle any mom or dad to be good or bad.
Let’s be more understanding and supportive of each other.